Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Funny Jokes Collection

“God doesn’t exist”
“God doesn’t exist” – Karl Marx
“Karl Marx no longer exists” – God
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One shark to the other
One shark to the other: Look at this surfer – he’s being served just like in a restaurant on a food-tray and with a napkin
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A blonde with bandaged arm and foot meets her friend.
A blonde with bandaged arm and foot meets her friend.
– What happened to you?
– I was using a vacuum cleaner and it hit me in the arm
– But why is your foot bandaged?
– I kicked it back!
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Hey girl, did anyone tell you that you look like Marilyn Monroe?
– Hey girl, did anyone tell you that you look like Marilyn Monroe?
– Noooooooo!!!!
– That’s right! ’cause you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
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We’re all gonna die
– Doctor, I ate pizza with the expired date of consumption, what’ll happen to me, am I gonna die?
– Well everyone is going to die some day, you know….
– Oh my God! What have I done? Now we’re all gonna die!
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100 year old man
100 year old man
A 60-year-old man is getting his annual physical:
– Doc, do you think I’ll live another 40 years so I can reach 100?
– That depends,” says the doctor. Do you smoke?
– No
– Do you drink?
– No
– Do you running after women?
– Of course not
– Well, then, why the hell do you want to live for another 40 years?
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Q: Why are there no elephants in Bollywood?
Q: Why are there no elephants in Bollywood?
A:They can’t run around trees without knocking them down.
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Teacher: If you are in moon, what will be your weight
Teacher: If you are in moon, what will be your weight
a) increase
b)decrease
c) no change
d) can not be predicted…
Student : Decrease
Teacher: why
Student : you will not get good food!!!
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Colgate se daant saaf karne ka,
Colgate se daant saaf karne ka,
Pepsodent se majboot karne ka,
Babul se fresh karne ka..
Aagr fir bhi safed nhi huye toh..
Bindaas HARPIC use karne ka….
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7-chiz jb khatam ho jati hai to bahut taklif hoti hai
7-chiz jb khatam ho jati hai to bahut taklif hoti hai
1-Pyar
2-Rishta
3-School Life
4-Dosti
5-Paise
6-Net Pack

OR
7. Toilet Main Pani….. :p


Source : Funny Jokes

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